Robert Orben quotes is best known as an American professional comedy writer, though he also worked as a speechwriter for Gerald R. Ford and as a magician Born: 03/04/1924 Country: usa

• Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings. (Robert Orben)
• More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments. (Robert Orben)
• A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success. (Robert Orben)
• A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. (Robert Orben)
• Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right? (Robert Orben)
• Do your kids a favor - don't have any. (Robert Orben)
• Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success. (Robert Orben)
• Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. (Robert Orben)
• Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. (Robert Orben)
• Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet. (Robert Orben)
• I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. (Robert Orben)
• I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. (Robert Orben)
• If you can laugh together, you can work together. (Robert Orben)
• Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. (Robert Orben)
• In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh. (Robert Orben)
• Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price. (Robert Orben)
• Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. (Robert Orben)
• Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights! (Robert Orben)
• More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments. (Robert Orben)
• Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. (Robert Orben)
• Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected. (Robert Orben)
• Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. (Robert Orben)
• Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people. (Robert Orben)
• Quit worrying about your health. It will go away. (Robert Orben)
• Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral. (Robert Orben)
• Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!' (Robert Orben)
• There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers. (Robert Orben)
• There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. (Robert Orben)
• Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator. (Robert Orben)
• To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. (Robert Orben)
• Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down. (Robert Orben)

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